SUMMERPROJECT #1

finally, we made it! 

it's been a long long dream for me and my fellow Nina, to hv a random summer photoshoots in a random place. every school-long-holiday time since our 10th grade, we were always talk about it, but we never made it, dan selalu nyadarnya baru akhir liburan waktu udah mepet masuk sekolah hahaha!

and thennn, this year's Ramadhan Holiday, we finally made it *hurray.

modal keseloan dan keisengan, we kidnapped our friend Irene in the middle of very bright noon, and sharp drive towards the south. after a long drive (sampe gempor kaki gueh), then we found this place above the bridge, with a vast river and grasses. somewhere in south YK, arah ke Parangtritis.

been in YK for 18 yrs, and I still discover sumthin new. super awsum!

clear sky along the bridge. what a feeling!

super lucky there were a 'getek' sailing along the river. jump in!

climb up up up to the road. changing venue~

the 2nd venue is super dry. 

but we're happy. :D

let's explore the city!

blah

words, stories, thoughts. all from my dizzy temple

ever know that words are swords.
and now, after that plenty of times, I find again that this quote is simply true

say what you need to say, not what you want to say.
because, maybe what we want isn't mutually good for what we need. say what we need to say means holding our passion to talk about anything, that may, be a secret. say what we need to say, not talking too much, because once you're wrong, it may kills you. even for a second.

shares story with God
feeling unconvenient to tell my stories, uhm, problems explicitly about what I feel don't ever mean that I don't need a place to say it out loud. but, need a place also don't have a meaning that its place would given to a human, no. I'd rather to reveal it to God, since I have faith that God always see what we've did, always listening, always understanding. shares story with God commonly filled with tears and anger, where I sometimes just laying on the floor after the pray, and let the tears fell down my face. God never give me any advice, God never give me an instant solvement, and also God never ever say a word to me, as if I tell story to my friends. But, magically, without that clarity, I feel relieve. The value is not about the answer, but about the feeling I get, that God surely listens. The contemplation that really save me from being out of line.

not that I do not believe
I like you guys, parents, sister. sometimes I'm being too weird, if I had a problem. It doesn't reflect my belief to you, I'm surely believe you guys. I know you may hear me, you would like to solve the problem too, helps me. But it's all just about the comfort, the convenience, not the trust. And, however I'm moving forward, not as introvert as before hehe

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Randomly talking like an ass. Based on my body's temper. Not really well. And my thoughts, that's also a bit sick haha have fun, the Lebaran Day is coming :D woo hoo


blah

as ramadhan goes by

hello.
HAPPY FASTING :)

now it's been 3 days of ramadhan. 3 days of keeping the emotion and hunger

1st day of ramadhan. I spent it all alone zzzz the buka puasa, the tarweh hemmmm. that saturday, what i've been doing is just go to the school doing the 'penerimaan anggota baru'. accompanied the 10th grader to do their booklet.

"dis, how about we do the once year buber today?'

"well idk, guess no. monday better"

i thought that 1st day of buka puasa should be with our family. cause later, there's must be much of other buber rite?


well then, i went home and got my body so tired aand sleepy. and actually my parents would go to my cousin's health-celebration (idk what's the word :B). well im so sleepy and i want to get sleep cause i want to goo to the tarweh with the eyes open -and to not got mad because it takes so loooong time- hm. and so they left me.

so there i am. sleep until adzan maghrib. turn on the Tv and eat all alone. hm yeah i felt pathetic for a second, but i just pretend to be okay and it's work :D then i do the maghrib and board off my house to do the tarweh.

im kind of proud of myself that i can through the day alone. and my tarweh's pray was more, idk, more relaxing.



thanks for the 1st day of ramadhan, actually.

blah