feeling worse

never expect anything.

I never ask you to do this, do that.

never want too much.

never ask too much

never order too much

never be too sensitive

never be too angry

never be too tricky

never be too dependant

never be too careful.

but I've been too sure

I'm the mrs. brighside. I've been her. But I'll be her no more.

thought I've knew you well. but actually, I just don't. 

I don't want you to be mr. perfect, I never wanted that. you're what you are and nothing I need to ask more. I never aim too high, wanting so much things from you. I like what you are. But why'd you have to do this. do the thing I don't like. one small thing that you did so easily without realizing what could my feeling be when I knew it. 

The more I think about it, the more this heart trembled.

I'm not a typical of person that could easily forget bad memories. I may looked in a state, looked like I could accept it. but deep inside, still I think about it. it's always been like that. forgive, but not forget. and in this case, I couldn't mend my thoughts. so many question that makin me feel worse. why did I'm so sure that you are good behind me? why did you do that? did you care of me? am I too foolish, or it's you that's too smart? am I that careless? it's all still cyclin in my brain. you couldn't force me to trust you a hundred percent.

what you did isn't the main point. the way you disgress my trust is.

lesson's learned

blah

HOLIDAY ENDS :|

IT'S SATURDAY AND I WANT MORE HOLIDAY, HOLI-LAZY-DAY
kemaren kok tidak serasa liburan : padahal ak juga ke bandung, jalan2, shop-a-hopping, berwisata kuliner sampai naik 5 kilo, trus ke bogor main k tmpat sodara blablabla sounds like holiday but i don't feel it at all. @ bdg i feel like i just accompanied my mom to look and find what she needs. and find some jeans for my sister. actually i bought some too but not as much as my mom's and sist's. im a bit tired of following her through round the mall zzz and im not relax because of summerswing is D-10 that time. I feel so irresponsible. Though my body is @ bdg but my mind was escaped away to jogja :
then, it became worse when I just when into the soekarno-hatta airport from bogor. I really want to go home immediately. jam 2,45 ak abis dr rumah makan gitu abis ngrayain ultah bude. langsung maunya k terminal ambil jurusan bogor ke soekarno-hatta airport. eh baru bbrapa menit dr bogor, trnyata MACET BEUT -_________- akhrnya diputuskan naik mobil aja k SH airportnya, biar cepet. dikiranya nyampe tol udah bakal sepi. EH TETEP RAME. mobil udah siput mode-on. gabisa gerak zzzz
milih antara tol grogol atau tanjung priok. krn deket, we chose grogol. okedets kita jalani dgn tabah. eh trnyata nyampe apa itu deket gelora bung karno tetep aja jalannya seret banget maaaaaaan. waktu mulai nunjukkin jam 4an padahal pesawat take off 5,40 (MASIH INGET BANGET). siaaaaaal. mana ibu adik jdi ikutan ngnter k jkt. pdhal yg brgkt cm aku bapak (dgn mksut mmpercepat kepulangan). ksian bgt mereka, ad 2 sepupuku juga yg ngnter, melas kesian. di tengah macet, kita nyalain radio, eh trnyata ADA KAMPANYE SBY : ha terang aja macet, tanpa makan minum kita brtahan di mobil, sengsara. akhrny psawat g mungkn kekejar. it's canceled. uang melayang :''''''''(
parahnya ak keancam gbisa balik secara smua psawat udah penuh. bapak sibuk telpon2 ngedapetin tiket psawat. ak yg tdi masih seneng2 aja lgsg diem degdegan abieZET. gila klo gbisa pulang gmana dong, njuk pie, ak pgen ikut TT ikt summerswing edan wae g kerja, batinku. hoooosh. akhrnya dpet tiket balik, phew. trus abis mkan di mall antah berantah, ak cari hotel dan nginep di jkt, ibu adk sepupu balik k bogor. what the ngiwut banget.
hmmmeeh untung bgt dpet psawat pagi, jdi lgsg bisa k skolah dan see how is TT :B
tidak terasa liburan -.- aftr tht i've to go back gor uny-house. there's rapat akbar blablabla and then h-2 aku sakit : tepar di rumah hmbi banget. abis itu summerswing. abis SS tidur terusssss. my god senin udah masuk. NGIK NGOOOKS

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