words, stories, thoughts. all from my dizzy temple

ever know that words are swords.
and now, after that plenty of times, I find again that this quote is simply true

say what you need to say, not what you want to say.
because, maybe what we want isn't mutually good for what we need. say what we need to say means holding our passion to talk about anything, that may, be a secret. say what we need to say, not talking too much, because once you're wrong, it may kills you. even for a second.

shares story with God
feeling unconvenient to tell my stories, uhm, problems explicitly about what I feel don't ever mean that I don't need a place to say it out loud. but, need a place also don't have a meaning that its place would given to a human, no. I'd rather to reveal it to God, since I have faith that God always see what we've did, always listening, always understanding. shares story with God commonly filled with tears and anger, where I sometimes just laying on the floor after the pray, and let the tears fell down my face. God never give me any advice, God never give me an instant solvement, and also God never ever say a word to me, as if I tell story to my friends. But, magically, without that clarity, I feel relieve. The value is not about the answer, but about the feeling I get, that God surely listens. The contemplation that really save me from being out of line.

not that I do not believe
I like you guys, parents, sister. sometimes I'm being too weird, if I had a problem. It doesn't reflect my belief to you, I'm surely believe you guys. I know you may hear me, you would like to solve the problem too, helps me. But it's all just about the comfort, the convenience, not the trust. And, however I'm moving forward, not as introvert as before hehe

Randomly talking like an ass. Based on my body's temper. Not really well. And my thoughts, that's also a bit sick haha have fun, the Lebaran Day is coming :D woo hoo


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give me hell